Cyberbullying and Online Harms

Is It Just A Joke?

We are constantly exposed to humor online, from memes to GIFs and YouTube videos. But what makes one person laugh might make another person feel hurt or excluded.

Whether in person or online, our words can affect people differently than we might have wanted. Sometimes people say hurtful things and then claim it’s”just a joke!” when others get upset. But if someone feels hurt, saying “I was just joking” doesn’t make it OK. A real joke makes everyone laugh, not just some people at others’ expense. In online spaces, where we can’t see facial expressions or hear tone of voice, it’s even more important to think about how our actions might impact others.

By analyzing scenarios from multiple perspectives and examining the common defense that it’s “just a joke,” we can build crucial empathy skills for becoming upstanding digital citizens.

We each have a “humour compass” that helps us tell the difference between jokes that make everyone laugh, jokes that might be misunderstood, and jokes that hurt others. When in doubt, check your compass to keep humour kind and fun for everyone!

What Are Online Harms?

When we think about staying safe online, it’s important to understand that harm can take many different forms beyond just cyberbullying. Online actions can affect our physical safety, damage our emotional well-being, hurt our reputation for years to come, expose our private information, or trick us through deception. By understanding these different types of harm, we can better protect ourselves and make smarter choices about how we interact in digital spaces.

online harms: negative experiences caused by someone through technology that affects someone’s safety, well-being, reputation, or privacy.
cyberbullying: using digital devices, sites, and apps to intimidate, harm, and upset someone.

Six types of online harms:

Harm to Safety: Actions that could put you in physical danger.
Sharing location with strangers
Meeting online contacts in person

Harm to Well-Being: Actions that can hurt your mental and emotional health.
Excessive negative comments
Content causing anxiety/stress

Harm Using Hate/Cyberbullying: Intentionally cruel behavior or attacks on identity
Harassment, threats and hate speech
Targeting someone’s background or identity

Harm to Reputation: Actions that could damage how others see you now or in the future.
Embarrassing content
Spread of false information

Harm to Privacy: Actions that could expose your personal information.
Sharing private information
Taking/sharing without permission

Harm Using Deception: Actions that could trick, scam, or embarrass you.
Fake accounts/scams
Misleading information

Online harm comes in many forms, from threats to our physical safety and emotional well-being, to attacks on our reputation and privacy, to cyberbullying and deceptive scams. By understanding these types of online harms, we become better at spotting red flags and protecting ourselves and others. When we know what to look for, we can make smarter choices about how we act online and help create safer digital spaces for everyone.

The Ripple Effects of Conflict

Online conflicts can quickly grow beyond their original scope, with ripple effects that impact everyone involved. We can learn to identify the unique factors that make digital conflicts escalate, and learn strategies to prevent small disagreements from becoming overwhelming problems.

conflict – a disagreement or argument between people who have different views, feelings, or goal.

Think about conflicts that happen face-to-face, like an argument between friends. Now, imagine that the same conflict took place online. What could make the online version different? Four factors that make online conflicts different from other types of conflict like in-person arguments:

Persistence: Because it happens online, it can impact you anywhere and anytime you use your devices.

Anonymity: People can hide their identity with fake accounts, making it harder to know who is responsible for causing harm.

Audience: Mean or embarrassing content can spread instantly, and to more people.

Permanence: It can be really hard to completely delete harmful posts since people can save, screenshot, or share them.

These factors make it easier for conflicts to escalate online. The internet and social media make it possible for simple conflicts to spiral out of control. Sometimes a single post can cause someone a great deal of pain or hurt. In some cases, conflicts can escalate into cyberbullying.

cyberbullying – using digital devices, sites, and apps to intimidate, harm, and upset someone.

You have the power to prevent conflicts from escalating into cyberbullying. Remember to always consider the impacts (and potential ripple effects) of your actions online.

Resist the urge to broadcast your anger. Being angry online can feel like an outlet, but it can also escalate conflicts.
Try to resolve the conflict with communication. Sometimes a little talking is all it takes to resolve disagreements or misunderstandings.
Respect other people’s privacy. Posting conversations and other content that is meant to be private can break trust between people.

When Cyberbullying Happens

When cyberbullying happens, it’s crucial to know how to respond effectively. The ACT framework is a practical approach for addressing online harassment.

Ask for help from trusted adults.

Parents, teachers, coaches, counselors, and family members could be part of your network of support.
Adults might support you by requesting that harmful content about you be removed in online spaces.
Remember that some serious situations may require adults to involve others to keep you safe. This isn’t breaking trust—it’s part of how adults can help.

Collect evidence and report.

In some serious cases, you may need to file a report.
Collecting evidence (like taking screenshots) creates a clear record that helps adults understand exactly what happened and makes reporting more effective.
Always report instances where your safety may be at risk.

Tips for Documenting Cyberbullying

Take screenshots that show the offensive content and the username of who posted it.
Record dates, times, and locations (like apps) where harassment occurred.
Save messages—don’t delete them, even if they’re upsetting.
Keep track of witnesses who saw what happened.
Note any changes or escalation in the bullying pattern

Where to Report Online

Social media: Most platforms have a “Report” option
Gaming platforms: Look for “Report Player” options in menus.
School: What are your school’s reporting procedures?
Serious threats: If someone threatens physical harm, tell a trusted adult immediately.
Remember: Different platforms have different reporting processes, but all have some way to report harmful content.

Take care of yourself.

Share your feelings with close friends or family who can help you feel less alone.
Take time to do things that make you happy and help you stay positive.
Connect with supportive friends who don’t engage in the bullying.
Consider how you can support others who experience similar situations.
Remember that true friends don’t participate in harming others.

Remember that cyberbullying doesn’t define you, and you have the power to take action. These strategies give you options to address harmful online behavior and protect your well-being. If you ever need support, there are people ready to help you.

When Hate Escalates

Online hate rarely stays small. What begins as an offhand comment can quickly transform into targeted harassment and widespread discrimination.

Have you ever seen expressions of hate online? What makes it different from joking or a rude comment? You can tell someone is expressing hate when their behavior goes beyond simple teasing into harassment—it shows up as repeated, unwanted messages or actions meant to hurt you. This might involve discrimination, where they unfairly target aspects of who you are, like your background or beliefs. While friendly jokes make everyone feel included and laugh together, hate shows through consistent actions meant to make you feel unwelcome or unsafe.

hate: intense dislike or hostility directed at a person or people
harassment: repeatedly targeting someone through unwanted behavior or speech that purposefully creates an unsafe environment
discrimination: unfairly treating people differently because of who they are or what they believe

Hate rarely stays small. What might start as an online comment can grow into organized exclusion, and real threats and harms. It might feel easier to be a bystander, especially when speaking up puts us at risk, but remember that hate becomes more powerful when people stay silent.

Being an upstander doesn’t always mean making big public statements—it can mean documenting what’s happening, supporting those being targeted, or finding trusted adults who can help. Always prioritize your own emotional and physical safety when deciding how to respond.

Sometimes the most effective action is reporting content through official channels rather than engaging directly. When we recognize hate early and take action in ways that keep everyone safe, we can stop it from growing into something much worse.

Deepfakes and Consent

Deepfake – artificially created images or videos of someone doing something they never did. Deepfakes affect our ability to control how we are represented online. Creating fake images of other people can cause the person to feel powerless, embarrassed, disrespected, or violated.

Consent – asking for and receiving permission before recording, sharing, or posting someone’s personal information or images online

As technology makes it increasingly easy to manipulate images, we need to understand the ethical dimensions of consent in digital spaces. Creating and sharing altered images without permission impacts trust, respect, and personal boundaries.

When should you seek consent?

Before posting or sharing photos or videos that include other people
Before editing or manipulating someone else’s image or content
Before sharing someone’s personal information or stories
When using AI tools to create images of real people

S.T.A.N.D Up to Support Friends

Upstander – Someone who takes positive action when they witness harmful
behavior by supporting the person affected, speaking up against
the harm, or reporting to a trusted adult.

Online harm – A negative experience caused by someone through
technology that affects someone’s safety, well-being, dignity, or privacy.

How can you support a friend who is experiencing online harm?
S.T.A.N.D

STAY CONNECTED
Check in regularly with simple messages like “How are you doing today?”
Keep including them in regular activities and friend group chats.

TAKE TIME TO LISTEN
Give them your full attention without immediately trying to fix things.
Show you care with responses like “That must be really hard.”

ALERT TRUSTED ADULTS
Support them in talking to parents, teachers, or counselors when needed.
Remember that safety is more important than keeping secrets.

NOTE EVIDENCE (DOCUMENT)
Help save screenshots or recordings of harmful content.
Keep track of dates and times of incidents.

DEFEND THEIR PRIVACY
Keep their situation private unless they say it’s OK to share.
Respect their choices about who to tell and when.

Remember, small actions can make a big difference when someone is struggling. Supporting friends online isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about being there for them and knowing when additional help is needed to ultimately support their well-being.

We can THRIVE in a digital world!