Perhaps one small flaw or behavior we barely even recognize is the only thing that’s keeping us from where we want to be. In his book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”, Marshall Goldsmith has a “to stop” list rather than one listing what “to do”. This “to stop” list is designed to help us overcome our unconscious annoying habits and become more successful. Here’s one habit we can strive to overcome.
Intentionally withholding information is the opposite of adding value. We are deleting value. Yet it has the same purpose: To gain power. It’s the same old need to win, only more devious. You see it in people who leave you out of the information flow. You see it in people who answer every question with a question: they believe revealing anything puts them at a disadvantage. You see it in its passive-aggressive incarnation in people who don’t return your phone calls or answer your e-mails or only give partial answers to your queries.
Reflect on how you felt about the following events:
- A meeting you weren’t told about
- A memo or e-mail you weren’t copied on
- A moment when you were the last person to know something
By withholding information, you may think you’re gaining an edge and consolidating power, but you’re actually breeding mistrust. In order to have power, you need to inspire loyalty rather than fear and suspicion. Withholding information is nothing more than a misplaced need to win.
It may not be easy to change the ‘divide and conquer’ behavior, but one can focus on all the unintentional or accidental ways we withhold information.
- We do this when we are too busy to get back to someone with valuable information.
- We do this when we forget to include someone in our discussions or meetings.
- We do this when we delegate a task to our subordinates but don’t take the time to show them exactly how we want the task done.
More often than not, we don’t withhold information out of malice. We do it because we’re clueless. That’s a good thing. Willful maliciousness is not a “flaw” that we can fix here. But cluelessness is easy to change.
It may be simply the case that we are too busy. We mean well. We have good intentions. But we fail to get around to it. Over time it begins to look as if we are withholding information.
How do you stop withholding information. Start sharing it!
Make sharing information a higher priority in your busy day. In doing so, you will not only improve your communication, you’ll be proving that you care about your coworkers — demonstrating that what they think matters to you.
altLearners 