That won’t work!

Perhaps one small flaw or behavior we barely even recognize is the only thing that’s keeping us from where we want to be. In his book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”, Marshall Goldsmith has a “to stop” list rather than one listing what “to do”. This “to stop” list is designed to help us overcome our unconscious annoying habits and become more successful. Here’s one habit we can strive to overcome.

“Let me explain why that wont work.” ‘The only problem with this is.”

This is the telltale phrase of negativity. This is a major annoyance because it’s emblematic of our need to share our negative thoughts even when they haven’t been solicited.

It’s not like overusing “no,” “but,” and “however,” because we’re not hiding our negativity under the mask of agreement. Nor is it the same as passing judgement on someone else’s ideas — because we’re not rating or comparing anything. We’re not saying it’s good, better, or best. It’s clearly not the same as making destructive comments — because it’s not overtly nasty.

“Let me explain why that won’t work” is unique because it is pure unadulterated negativity under the guise of being helpful. We employ it to help establish our expertise or authority as superior to someone else’s.

If negativity is your flaw, monitor your statements the moment someone offers you a helpful suggestion. Paying attention to what we say is a great indicator of what we’re doing to turn people off. If you catch yourself frequently saying, “Let me tell you why that won’t work,” you know what needs fixing.