Perhaps one small flaw or behavior we barely even recognize is the only thing that’s keeping us from where we want to be. In his book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”, Marshall Goldsmith has a “to stop” list rather than one listing what “to do”. This “to stop” list is designed to help us overcome our unconscious annoying habits and become more successful. Here’s one habit we can strive to overcome.
Punishing the messenger is like taking the worst elements of not giving recognition and bagging the credit and passing the buck and making destructive comments and not thanking or listening — and then adding anger to the mix. It manifests itself in big and little ways.
It’s the momentary snort of disgust you exhale when your assistant reports that the boss is too busy to see you.
It’s the expletive you neglect to delete in a meeting when a subordinate announces that a deal fell apart. If you had calmly asked, “What went wrong?” no damage would be done. The subordinate would explain what happened and everyone in the room would be wiser for it.
It’s not just bad news, however. It’s all the times that people give us a helpful warning about something — a red light up ahead when we’re driving, fact that our socks don’t match — whatever.
If your goal is to stop people from giving you input — of all kinds — perfect your reputation for shooting the messenger. On the other hand, if your goal is to stop this bad habit, all you need to say is, “Thank you.”
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