Perhaps one small flaw or behavior we barely even recognize is the only thing that’s keeping us from where we want to be. In his book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”, Marshall Goldsmith has a “to stop” list rather than one listing what “to do”. This “to stop” list is designed to help us overcome our unconscious annoying habits and become more successful. Here’s one habit we can strive to overcome.
People will tolerate all sorts of rudeness, but the inability to pay attention holds a special place in their hearts. When you fail at listening you’re sending out an armada of negative messages. You’re saying:
- I don’t care about you
- I don’t understand you
- You’re wrong
- You’re stupid
- You’re wasting my time
- All of the above
It’s a wonder people ever talk to you again.
The interesting thing about not listening is that, for the most part, it’s a silent, invisible activity. People rarely notice you doing it. You can not be listening because you’re bored, or distracted, or busy composing what you want to say — and no one will know it.
The only time people actually see that you’re not listening to them is when you’re displaying extreme impatience. You want them to hurry up and get to the point. People notice that. And they rarely think better of you for it. You may as well be shouting, “NEXT!” at them.
When you find yourself mentally or literally drumming your fingers while someone else is talking, stop the drumming. Stop demonstrating impatience when listening to someone. Stop saying or thinking “Next!”
altLearners 