Perhaps one small flaw or behavior we barely even recognize is the only thing that’s keeping us from where we want to be. In his book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”, Marshall Goldsmith has a “to stop” list rather than one listing what “to do”. This “to stop” list is designed to help us overcome our unconscious annoying habits and become more successful. Here’s one habit we can strive to overcome.
In withholding your recognition of another person’s contribution to a team’s success, you are not only sowing injustice and treating people unfairly but you are depriving people of the emotional payoff that comes with success.
In depriving people of recognition, you are depriving them of closure. And we all need closure in any interpersonal transaction. Closure comes in many forms — from the emotional complexity of paying our last respects to loved ones before they die to something as pro forma as saying, “You’re welcome” when someone else says, “Thank you.” Either way, we expect closure.
Recognition is all about closure. It’s the beautiful ribbon wrapped around the jewel box that contains the precious gift of success you and your team have created. When you fail to provide that recognition, you are cheapening the gift. You have the success but none of the afterglow.
When I ask why people fail at recognition, the answers say more about the people responding than the people who aren’t being recognised. “I just got too busy.” “I just expected everyone to do great work.” “I never realised how important it was to them.” “I was never recognised for my great work — why should they be.”
Note the aggressive use of the first person singular pronoun. It’s a hallmark of successful people; they become great achievers because of their intense focus on themselves. Their career, their performance, their progress, their needs. But there’s a difference between being an achiever and a leader. Successful people become great leaders when they learn to shift the focus from themselves to others.
Of all the interpersonal slights we make in our professional or private lives, not providing recognition may be the one that endures most deeply in the minds of the slighted.
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