Expressing gratitude is a talent

An extract from Marshall Goldsmith’s “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”.

Thanking expresses one of the most basic human emotions: gratitude. You either feel it or you don’t. Gratitude is a complex emotion — it is frequently interpreted as submissive behavior, slightly humiliating. This may explain why parents must constantly remind their children to say, “Thank you.” Its one of the last and hardest things to teach naturally rebellious kids.

Here’s an exercise to get you started. No matter how far along you are in life, think about your career. Who are the people most responsible for your success? Write down the first 25 names that come in mind. Ask yourself, “Have I ever told them how grateful I am for this help?” If you’re like the rest of us, you probably have fallen short in this area.

Writing a thank you note also forces you to confront the humbling fact that you have not achieved your success alone. You had help along the way.

Most important, it forces you to identify your strengths and weaknesses. After all, when you thank people for helping you, you’re admitting that you needed help in the first place — which is one way to pinpoint your deficiencies. This helps you identify your old weak spots (which may still be weaker than you think.)

Eventually, you’ll come to see that expressing gratitude is a talent — a talent that goes hand in hand with wisdom and self-knowledge and maturity.