Apologizing

An extract from Marshall Goldsmith’s “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”.

Apologizing is the most magical, healing, restorative gesture that human beings can make. Without the apology, there is no recognition that mistakes have been made, there is no announcement to the world of the intention to change, and most important there is no emotional contract between you and the people you care about. Saying you’re sorry to someone writes the contract in blood.

How to Apologize?

The healing process begins with an apology.

It doesn’t matter what we have done or what compels us to apologize. Once you are prepared to apologize, here’s the instruction manual.

You say, “I’m sorry.”

You add, “I’ll try to do better in the future.”

And then … you say nothing.

Don’t explain it. Don’t complicate it. Don’t qualify it.